15 Fantastic Baseball Names (2009)

published September 18, 2009

As baseball season winds down and heads to the playoffs, it's time to take a look back at the best baseball names of 2009. Football has an abundance of fantastic names as pointed out in this article, but I was shocked at the number of fantastic baseball names as well. We went through some of the best baseball nicknames last month, but the following names need no nicknames. Like the NFL names article, we will examine what these names would be if they weren't baseball players.

#15 - Dexter Fowler - This rookie centerfielder on the Rockies could easily be a new show on Cartoon Network. "Dexter Fowler - Genius Chicken."

 

#14 - Johnny Cueto - This fantastic name would be perfect for another cartoon series. Instead of Johnny Quest, we get Johnny Kuato(Cueto). The mutant from Total Recall gets his own cartoon!

 

#13 - Gordon Beckham - The rookie of the year candidate of the Chicago White Sox has the most British name ever. I can see him easily being Duke Gordon Beckham of Edinburgh.

 

#12 - Drew Stubbs - Here, I drew some stubs for you.

 

#11 - Phil Coke - This Yankees reliever may be better off filling cokes as a waiter than a major league pitcher. Maybe he can be your trusty drug dealer when you run out of cocaine.

 

#10 - Homer Bailey - "The Simpsons" would actually be called "The Baileys," and Homer Bailey would be the bumbling 'everydad' character.

 

#9 - Jair Jurrjens - If he wasn't a rising star pitcher of the Atlanta Braves, he'd be meticulously working on skin products to make your skin as soft as a baby's bottom.

 

#8 - Fausto Carmona - The mighty Fausto would be the Devil lord of the 8th circle of the nine hells, second in power to the even mightier Asmodeus.

 

#7 - Kiko Calero - This great name totally sounds like a Brazilian carnivale dance troupe.

 

#6 - Felix Pie - This one is pretty self explanatory. It's a Felix the cat pie!

 

#5 - Fu Te Ni - If you listen carefully to the Ewoks, I swear they say "Fu Te Ni." So using this logic, Fu Te Ni would be an ewok.

 

#4 - Milton Bradley - This one is easy as Milton Bradley is already an established board game maker.

 

#3 - Boof Bonser - This name is perfect for a pet pug, or for Kirby's archvillain, or even a fat clown. That's just how I see it.

 

#2 - Coco Crisp - This is another easy one. Coco Crisp has had one of the best names in baseball for quite a while for it's striking resemblance to this breakfast cereal.

 

#1 - Angel Pagan - This awesome name is a contradiction in itself, almost an oxymoron. The only way it could be more of a contradiction would be if he was named Angel Devil.

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