#15 - Michael Jackson - Yes I placed Michael Jackson on the bottom of the list on purpose, because I fucking loathe pedophiles. The real tragedy is that Michael Jackson probably should've died 15-20 years earlier before he started turning white and his nose started to fall off. Oh, and molesting children. Yes I am still sick of Michael Jackson's music after hearing way too much of it in college, perhaps with the exception of the Free Willy Song. I heart that song.

#14 - John Hughes - This director made many movies that are not in my top 100 movies. However they might be like 125-150. Except "Ferris Bueller's Day Off" aka the most overrated movie of all time. Nonetheless, many of us did grow up on his films so he gets points for that.

#13 - The Drummer of the Nekromantix - Gah, I hate it when a member of a relatively vague band that I enjoy dies. The band will go on, as long as the dude with the coffin bass stays alive.

#12 - Bea Arthur - You'd be a man sounding grump too if you had to put up with the bitch-whore Blanche all the time. The biggest tragedy about Bea Arthur's death is that people were pretty much not allowed to make fun of Bea Arthur for a couple months. On the plus side, that stigma seems to be subsiding.

#11 - Chris Henry - He had a career marred with horrible personal conduct. He got in fights, did drugs, drunk driving and was just an all around villain. As you may know by now, The Archnemesis likes villains. Chris Henry also died in a most appropriate way, arguing with his wife.

#10 - Walter Cronkite - I'm not too much into the hype of celebrating the death of a dude who reported news, but if you think about it, there was no internet back then. The source of news was from this guy. He had to be the most trusted person in America being the only person to tell people news.

#9 - Dom DeLuise - Some of the younger folk may not know him too well, but this guy was a legend. All you have to do is watch the Cannonball Run 2 with this youngster and he'll know how awesome 'him' can be.

#8 - Farrah Fawcett - I'm too young to know about Farrah in her Charlie's Angels days. In fact my earliest memory of Farrah Fawcett was her in a playboy showing the world how enormous her nipples were. Seriously those nipples were so meaty they could've been mistaken for extra breasts on top of her real breasts .

#7 - George Michael - Also known as the 'Hetero George Michael', this was the sportscaster of my favorite sports show as a kid, "The Sports Machine." Yeah, hosting a show about sports is little more hetero than .

#6 - David Carradine - David Carradine is awesome. The way he died was not awesome. He choked himself a little too vigorously while waxing his johnson, and died from it. On the plus side, he must've given himself a killer orgasm. Oh man, what a great pun.

#5 - Ted Kennedy - When Teddy died we lost the main driving force behind universal health care, which was his life's cause. If you look at the guy's record in congress there is a common theme. Legitimately helping people. The noble cause of helping people is slowly dying out as dollars go into the pockets of fuckbags like Joe Lieberman.

#4 - Patrick Swayze - Not only is Patrick Swayze in two of the best movies of all time (Point Break, Road House), he's also in the best chick flick of all time (Ghost). I'll be damned if you can find anyone who pulls off the mullet better than him. Very tragic indeed.

#3 - Ricardo Montalban - He's probably most remembered for Fantasy Island, but I always thought he was an awesome Kahn, and awesome villain in The Naked Gun, and was fantastic in the opening of The Cannonball Run 2. Also he had quite possibly the awesomest accent of all time.

#2 - Socks the Cat - That's right ya'll, I'm sadder about this cat dying than any of the previous people on the list. The Clintons ruled America, and surely the cat ruled the Clintons. So therefore our ruler for 8 years was a cat. Rest in Peace, Socks.

#1 - Brittany Murphy - The only thing more tragic than a cat dying is a babe dying when she is still hot. Brittany probably had at least 10 more years of hotness left, and I don't think she had a sex tape yet. That is the true tragedy.