Hey Baseball Players: Stop Pointing to the Sky

published June 25, 2009

Mariano Rivera shows us where the star constellation "Scorpio" is.

I am a huge baseball fan. I love the game, and love to watch even horrible teams play each other. It's definitely an acquired taste and these days I just can't get enough. There is however a disturbing trend going on in baseball, and I'm not talking about steroids. I'm talking about tons of baseball players pointing to the sky. Sometimes it's not even on a home run. Closers are pointing to the sky when they close a game. Some pitchers even point to the sky when they get a strikeout. I'm seeing some point to the sky when they touch home plate on a bases loaded walk!! Even baseball players that I like are doing this, and this horrible trend seems to be at an all time high. Well, I will do my part to end this trend by pointing out how stupid it is.

Invisible camera taking pictures of UFO's!

Why do they point to sky? One would assume that these baseball players are thanking God for the home run. It's obviously one of God's main priorities aside from blessing America and such.

Why don't you eliminate that, Albert?

Some say they point to the sky in memory of dead relatives. So apparently the kids from family circus all grew up and became baseball players. I wonder if grandma was watching Andruw "Gold Club" Jones when he had free sex with three prostitutes.

I'm pretty sure the good Lord is not a baseball fan, and if he was, he's not an Orioles fan, and if he was even that, he's not a Luke Scott fan.

Baseball is their job. Do waitresses point to the sky when they get a good tip? Do plumbers point to the sky when they fix a tough leak? Do cow breeders point to the sky after successfully inseminating a cow with their whole arm inside them? Of course not, they'd looke like complete idiots if they did.

Carlos Zambrano, one of the worst sky pointers. One wonders if he sky points after a satisfying morning shit.

Another interesting thing is that baseball is inherently a game of failure. There's 162 games before the playoffs. The best hitters only get hits 1/3 of the time and still strike out close to 100 times. Obviously there's no pointing to the sky when they fail, but do they blame? Do they give the middle finger to the devil? Do they apologize to grandma for failing while her ghost was watching?

Bob Bruney called K-rod's act 'tiresome' and 'embarassing.' I couldn't agree more.

The worst thing about the pointing to the sky is that it simply looks stupid. Frankie "K-Rod" Rogriguez looks like a complete jackass when he point to the sky, pounds his chest and points again. K-Rod particularly does it with exceptional flair and embellishment. A Yankee reliever, Bob Bruney, of all people pointed out that K-Rod has "a tired act." He adds that "He gets what he deserves, man. I just don?t like watching the guy pitch. I think it?s embarrassing."

A fellow baseball player saying what we should all be saying. This idiotic act of pointing to the sky is embarassing to them. So baseball players, I say to you - stop it already.

In his defense, he is the best baseball player named "Alexei."

So what alternatives are there to pointing to the sky? Well, there's always the classy smile and walk to the bench. High fiving teammates is a great move. A fist pump or two is more than acceptable unless you do it excessively like a jack-ass (see Joba Chamberlain). The bash brother forearm celebration was pretty cool. There is also the kiss to the necklace. It may be as stupid as the point to the sky, but at least it isn't as flamboyant. Just keep it simple, no need to be flashy with these idiotic points to the sky.

This is more of what baseball players should do. It's slightly less selfish and idiotic than pointing to the sky.

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