Ten Trophy Wives
published October 2, 2009
I'm happy to report that the trophy wife is on the decline. As women step up to take more power in all aspects of life, the trophy wife has gone from possession on a rich man's arm, to a disgusting money grubbing whore - who often isn't even that hot anyways. Hell, powerful women themselves are having their own trophy husbands or boy toys. In no particular order, I present 10 of these trophy wives.
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Dennis and Elizabeth Kucinich - This once presidential hopeful can be best described as a gremlin. His wife stands a full head taller than him in heels. But hey, as far as rich vegans, he's the top of the food chain (lol get it?).
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Nicolas Sarkozy and Carla Bruni - Carla Bruni once dated Eric Clapton and Mick Jagger. Determined to be someone trophy wife, she made the unusual decision to marry the French President, Nicolas Sarkozy.
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Anna Nicole Smith and J. Howard Marshall - This is the poster child of marrying for money. Marshall was 63 years older than Smith, and a billionaire. Anna was in the prime of her hotness. Marshall promptly died and left Smith out of his will. Since then, everyone witnessed Anna Nicole's descent into madness and her premature death.
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Donald Trump and Melania Knauss - Proof that billions of dollars are far more attractive to some women than looks and personality combined, this Slovenian bombshell married the insolent billionaire. It'd be interesting to see what Donald Trump thinks of his life on his deathbed.
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John and Cindy McCain - John McCain's first wife became crippled in a car accident. So John McCain did what any good christian would do - divorce her marry a hotter younger wife. Cindy McCain also claims that she's !
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Fred Thompson and Jeri Kehn - Yet another presidential candidate wields his power for capturing a trophy wife. However Jeri Kehn was surprisingly accomplished without the help of a rich husband. An especially proud moment for her was when Fred Thompson declared "his trophy wife" as his most prized possession.
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Rod Stewart and Penny Lancaster - Holy crap, she really is a whole head taller than him. Hell, one of her boobs is bigger than his head. You can see that Rod Stewart has aged from a young blonde woman to an old blonde lesbian looking woman, and still managed to marry a 6'2" model.
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Michael Douglas and Catherine Zeta Jones - I would actually consider this one slightly borderline as Michael Douglas is still the shit in his elderly age. But Zeta Jones was the slamminest banginest babe there was for a couple years. That is, until we pictured a wrinkly old penis with longballs penetrating her and creating a baby.
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Rupert Murdoch and Wendi Deng - This is another case of the yucks. They don't come much more wrinkly than Rupert Murdoch. I really can't say much about this one except how repulsed I am. Ugh.
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Jose and Melissa Lima - in 2004, Melissa Lima's boobs accompanied her husband in his singing of the national anthem. While no one remembers how good his singing was, everyone remembers her boobs and will continue to until the dawns early light.
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