Tanning Gone Wrong

published August 12, 2009

Beauty is a strange thing. Humans in general seem to be wildly attracted to the rare. Asians find larger eyes and pale complexions attractive. Americans find the skinny and the recessive blonde gene attractive. So I find it strange that in tropical climates, tans (which you can get from 2 seconds of sunlight) are frowned upon. In temperate and arctic climates (where sun is seasonal and still difficult to come by), tans are attractive. Like the guy who works out way too much, or the model who throws up after every meal to get skinny, there are people that overdo the tan. The results are horrifying. Here are some examples. WARNING: NOT FOR THE SQUEAMISH.

We'll start with the most famous tanning mishap circulating. This guy makes that freak on the left look normal. SImply disgusting.

This guy missed a few spots around his eyes and inside his ear. What the hell is he thinking? If you mess up this bad, make up an excuse. Don't go in public.

This makes me sick to my stomach. This douchebaggery is starting at a younger and younger age, and these little shits actually think that they're bad ass with the spray on tan.

This is the hardest image for me to stomach. We have walking leather. They could make purses out of this lady. You'd think if your skin looks like this, you wouldn't go out in public period, not to mention in a bikini in the sun. Take special notice of where her breasts hang. Ok vomit break.

John Boehner is taking his Senator Minority leadership a bit too serious, because he looks like a minority. How a white republican senator isn't paper white is beyong me.

This guy is Valentino and apparently he's famous for some reason. Still, why the hell is he going in public and putting his filthy spray tan lips on an uncomfortable Anne Hathaway.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Valentino infected her with 'Spraids'. In Hathaway's defense, it was for a movie.

Looks like Augustus Cloop started working out after he came out of the chocolate river. Just look at the splotches of spray tan on his face. Absolutely shameful.

OK and we'll try to bleach out the eyes with a couple images. Here we have Kim Kardashian a bit sunburnt wearing oversized sunglasses. Oops.

Hopefully this undoes some of the damage does to your eyes from previous images, without straying from a tan gone wrong!

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