Punch Out - The Movie

published July 13, 2009

Wii Punchout came out a couple months ago to rave reviews. Among other awesome things, they brought back almost all of the classic Punch Out characters from over the years. This got me thinking, wouldn't it be awesome if they make a Punch Out movie? There is an awesome array of intriguing, if not overtly stereotyped character that would be in it. So if they made a Punch Out movie, who would play who? Here's my speculation!

Glass Joe - Rupert Grint - Ron Weasley has got the pale complexion, the red hair, and the worried look down pat. This makes him the perfect part for the easiest boxer in the game.

 

Von Kaiser - Will Ferrell - Well he's the second easiest in the game, so it probably has to be someone comedic. WIll Ferrell could bring his man-child character and put a German accent to Von Kaiser.

 

Piston Honda - Bolo Yeung - Better known as Chong Li from Bloodsport, he would make a good addition with quotes like these - "First you break my record, now I break you....like I break your friend!"

 

King Hippo - Butterbean - These two look like they've been separated at birth. Butterbean would definitely have to scale it down for King Hippo, as Hippo was a pretty easy early round fighter.

 

Don Flamenco - Adam Sandler - I swear Don Flamenco was modeled after Adam Sandler, except Sandler wasn't in SNL until 1990. Nonetheless, he's still a perfect Don Flamenco.

 

Great Tiger - Sabu - None other than this crazy former ECW wrestler (the good ECW from back in the day) would make for a fantastic Great Tiger.

 

Bald Bull - Charles Barkley - There's not too many completely bald bulls with a bump on the back of their head. Also, it would be nice to see Charles put on his war face. Kimbo Slice could work for this part.

 

Mr. Sandman - Jose Canseco - Even though Jose is Latino, he's got that great douchebag tan Philly Italian look. Since he's been doing some fighting in real life and losing, he'd be a pretty good jobber in the movie.

 

Soda Popinski - Nikolai Valuev - This 7 ft. Russian boxer turned to acting would be perfect for Soda Popinski. He's even got the back of the head bump going for him.

 

Super Macho Man - Steven Seagal - Perfect for the Hollywood tough guy, the slick black hair. Seagal may have to muscle up a bit, but the attitude and look is there.

 

Mike Tyson - Mike Tyson - Mike Tyson showed his wonderous acting range in "The Hangover," and would be the prime candidate to play himself. Who else could?

 

Little Mac - Matthew Broderick - Maybe Tom Cruise would work better, but Broderick is slightly more likeable. He'll have to buff up and lose about 10 years, but CGI is a helluva thing. Robert Downey Jr. may work as well.

 

Doc Louis - Eddie Murphy in Fat Suit: For comic relief, none would be better than Eddie Murphy in fat suit making fart jokes all movie long.

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