New Products by Karl Malone
written by Karl Malone
August 7, 2009
Hi, this here Karl Malone. Karl Malone been out of basketball for 5 year now, so Karl Malone need new way to make end meet. Karl Malone introduce new line of new product with the Karl Malone seal of approval. Please buy my new Karl Malone product, and I may personally greet you on my 18 wheeler.
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Karl Malone Cologne -First, Karl Malone introduce the brand new "Karl Malone Cologne." It guarenteed to make you smell 'real good.' Sometime after Karl Malone basketball game, Karl Malone too tired to wash up. So Karl Malone just spray some "Karl Malone Cologne." Then Karl Malone go celebrate by having sex with basketball groupies. They alway say, "Karl Malone, Michael Jordan smell good, but you smell REAL good." That's the Karl Malone guarentee. Karl Malone cologne make you smell real good.
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Karl Malone Marmalade - There not much Karl Malone like more than Marmalade on toast, except maybe Popeye chicken and slam dunking on Charle Barkley. So Karl Malone make a new brand of marmalade, called "Karl Malone Marmalade." Most marmalade made from from oranges, but Karl Malone Marmalade made from tangerines. That's why Karl Malone Marmalade on your toast taste real good.
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Karl Malone Lemonade - Since Karl Malone smell real good, Karl Malone sometime get kids from having Karl Malone sex with basketball groupie. So Karl Malone gotta keep them Karl Malone kids happy. Karl Malone invent, "Karl Malone Lemonade." It not Karl Malone Lemonade if it don't got the Karl Malone seal of approval. When god gave me basketball, I made basket. When god gave me groupie, I made kid. Now he give me lemon, so I make Karl Malone Lemonade. Don't forget, Karl Malone Lemonade taste real good. |
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Karl Malone Provolone - Karl Malone alway like cheese. Sometime cheese put too much blubber on Karl Malone strong body. So Karl Malone make Karl Malone Provolone with 25% reduce fat. This here one of the reason Karl Malone grow up so big and strong. So listen kids, make sure mom get you Karl Malone Provolone.
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Home Alone with Karl Malone - When Karl was kid, Karl Malone wanted to be big movie star. So Karl Malone release new movie starring Macaully Hawkins. It called "Home Alone with Karl Malone." Karl Malone had great time filming this movie and got to meet many famous movie star. In this movie, two robber come to the house. However, Karl Malone there ready to stop them. Lot's of funny in this movie. Even though movie price go up and up and up and don't never once go down, this here movie worth the cash.
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Karl Malone Hiv-Be-Gone - Just like sometimes when you play basketball with Magic Johnson, Karl Malone gots be careful with Karl Malone basketball groupie. Hiv be a serious disorder that be affecting family everywhere. But here Karl Malone come to the rescue with the Karl Malone Hiv-Be-Gone jimmy strap. Karl Malone know when you pack your jimmy extra tight, you know that the hiv gon run away screaming like little girl.
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I hope you like the new line of Karl Malone product and I hope you buy the Karl Malone products. Remember, if it don't got the Karl Malone seal of approval it ain't good. Thanks for listening. This here Karl Malone.
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