Joel Osteen Book Covers

published August 14, 2009

This guy loves his own chin!

I've violated the idiom "don't judge a book by it's cover." I've judged Joel Osteen and three of his books by their ridiculous covers. First of all, the titles are "Your Best Life Now", "Become a Better You", and "Good, Better, Blessed" (A recording). Second, he's placed a picture of himself with a shit-eating grin on the cover of each of these. Here are the covers.

The same shit repackaged over and over again.

 

The guy looks like a complete tool. If Tim Allen received anal sex from Clay Aiken shat out a baby, Joel Osteen would be the result. Apparently, he thinks so highly of himself and his life that he is -the- authority on the subject of making people live a better life. He also is so conceited, that he places his mug on the covers with the same shit eating grin, as if his face was a huge selling point. This enough for me to deem Joel Osteen a narcissistic prick, who uses 'feel good' words to swindle millions of dollars from superstitious and uneducated folk, all with a smile on his face. For those who are truly wanting to become a better person and to live their best life, it's simple. I can sum up in two words what Joel Osteen did in three books.

The Archnemesis Guide to A Better Life: Be nice.

 

Yep, that's it. Now, I may not be living up to my own advice by not being nice, but that's because I cannot be nice to those who aren't nice. There is nothing nice about what Joel Osteen is doing. Joel Osteen is the latest in a line of superstar preachers from megachurches. He uses words like hope, inspiration, goodness, and stays away from sins (although he publicaly denounced homosexuality as a sin). Simply put, he's just another glorified swindler in a long line of megachurch swindlers.

Here is a more honest book cover.

 

I do have one nice thing to say about him. He doesn't force his God down our throats like most preachers, and he doesn't necessarily use the bible as a source of evidence and morality. This has actually gotten him into trouble with some Evangelicals. They call him a false prophet. They also accuse him or not quoting the bible enough, which is an absurd criticism of someone trying to spread his word outside of the box.

This deserves repeating, if Tim Allen received anal sex from Clay Aiken shat out a baby, Joel Osteen would be the result.

 

As if all these 'feel good' books weren't enough, he got his wife in on the action. She authored a book entitled "Love Your Life." Sounds like she really thought hard about that one. If you want one more reason why Joel Osteen is a prick, he undercut his own wife by 5 cents! How the hell is Victoria supposed to sell books if her husband undercuts her with a book that has almost exactly the same design and subject matter!

I bet the text inside is exactly the same.

 

Well, I've judged Joel Osteen. To reiterate, Joel Osteen is an egomaniacal prick, who thinks he is the authority on what a 'good' life or a 'good' person is. I would not be surpirsed if he was caught with a 13 year old Bangladeshian male prostitute and a bag of cocaine in the next 5 years. In fact, I almost expect it.

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