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Dr. Bin's Irrational Hatred of Football Players
published October 26, 2009

When Dr. Bin isn't bust cutting people open and removing tumors, he's watching various sports, especially football. Dr. Bin has an intense hatred of a special few players over the years, here are 6 of them.

Honorable Mentions: Trent Dilfer, Jeff Garcia, Eli Manning, Tim Tebow

Jerome Bettis
Jerome Bettis - The fattest running back, also the most arrogant. A 3 yard carry is all it takes for this blimp to spike the ball and celebrate and shake his head like a wet dog. Dr. Bin distinctly remembers him getting absolutely flattened by Ray Lewis on a 4 yard run. He got up and danced as if he won the battle.......he lost. 

 

phillip rivers
Philip Rivers - He broke down the barriers, and now all guys who throw like a girl can dream of NFL stardom. When he throws the ball, Dr. Bin just pictures him saying "eh" in a very effeminate voice. He also happens to be incredibly arrogant, very willing to talk shit and get in the face of a linebacker after he gets dropped. Fuck you Philip Rivers.


Michael Irvin
Michael Irvin - He was an excellent player, however his commentary skills have really drowned Dr. Bin's opinion of him. Dr. Bin doesn't think he understands the concept of a microphone, he thinks he needs to scream as loud as he can as he blesses us with his supreme intellect. On top of that, he got arrested for having a crack pipe in his car, and his explanation??? He frisked a friend of his at his house, found the pipe and confiscated it and placed it in his car!! Now that's fucking funny!

 

Chad Ocho Cinco

Chad Johnson - I actually enjoyed his antics for a while, until he decided to officially change his last name to "Ochocinco." He followed that attention seeking publicity stunt by having by far the worst season of his career.....smooth move dumbass.

(Archnemesis note: His number is Eighty Five, his name means Eight Five, not Eighty Five. It should be Ochenta y Cinco, what an idiot)

 

Tony ROmo
Tony Romo - He's a fag. He's not that good. In the biggest game of his career, he single handedly lost the game for his team by fucking up a hold on a field goal. Dr. Bin has never even seen a high schooler fuck up a hold that bad on a field goal. 


Terrell Owens
Terrell Owens - Dr. Bin doesn't hate the guy, but Dr. Bin does want to point out the fact that he's not nearly as annoying or attention seeking as he used to be. Why, you ask? Dr. Bin attributes it to wonderful psychiatrists who can diagnose bipolar disorder and treat manic retards like Owens, Britney Spears, and all those other celebs who used to do anything to seek publicity yet somehow have changed their ways. A victory for modern medicine! Now lets get to work on Kanye West, there's nothing more annoying than a manic celebrity!

 

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