Ranking the Bond Villains

published September 13, 2009

The villains of the James Bond movies are great examples of how villainy should be done, except for the fact that they always fail. There is almost always some sort of unique physical trait about these villains, whether it be diamonds on the face, steel teeth, webbed fingers, bloody tear ducts and more. While there are probably over 70 actual villains, most are worthless henchmen. I've ranked the top 25 Bond villains using factors such as how memorable they are, how much trouble they give Bond, how awesome their plan is, and overall villainy. The really awesome villains don't start until around number 17 or so.

25 - Aristotle Kristatos - The villain of For Your Eyes Only was entirely forgettable in an otherwise rejuvenating movie in the franchise. He also totally looks like that one general who got choked in Empire Strikes Back.

 

24 - Dominic Greene - After my personal favorite Bond movie (Casino Royale), came the relative shitpile of Quantum of Solace, and this relatively worthless villain.

 

23 - Mr. White - From the same movie and parts of Casino Royale, we have yet another lousy villain. However because he is a recurring villain, he barely squeezes into this list.

 

22 - General Orlov - Like all Soviet generals, Orlov is a megalomaniac wanting to drop atom bombs on Americans. Besides the strange setting of the Soviet-Afghan war, he was an average villain in an average Bond installment.

 

21- Gustav Graves - An admirable villanous scheme of using a front for good when really doing evil puts Graves on this list. People think he's putting an end to poverty and weather issues, but he really just wants to destroy.

 

20 - Largo - Largo appears as this eyepatched villain in Thunderball, and also as a strange villain in the underrated Never Say Never Again. He is the originator of the 'hold the world for ransom with bombs' scheme.

 

19- Hugo Drax - I quite love Hugo Drax's plan in Moonraker, kill everyone on Earth except for some handpicked people, and return once it is safe. However, Moonraker was a bit ridiculous and it one of my least favorite of Bond movies (lasers done wrong), dropping Hugo to 19.

 

18 - Karl Stromberg - Hugo Drax's plan wan't quite original, as this guy had thought of it in The Spy who Loved Me. Destroy the world through nuclear holocaust, and rebuild civilization under the sea - brilliant!

 

17 - Elliot Carver - This media tycoon is based on a real life villain, Rupert Murdoch. His plan is to start war to create news and thus more money for him! Damn you Fox News!

 

16 - Franz Sanchez - Anyone Robert Davi plays is bound to be an asshole and a villain. In License to Kill, he's a drug lord who sells cocaine disguised as fuel. He also has a young Benecio del Toro in his employ.

 

15 - Dr. Kananga - This villain had it all going for him. He had diplomatic immunity, he was head of the street gangs, he had tons of heroin to smuggle, and also a supernatual and awesome cadre of henchmen, ranging from the hooked hand of Tee Hee Johnson, to the Voodoo God of the Dead.

 

14 - General Koskov - Koskov was the main villain in The Living Daylights who fools the hell out of everyone. He was a fairly normal dude, who after seeming like a nobody, turns out to be an evil mastermind of the Cold War. That is, until Bond takes his woman and the real Russians have him exucuted.

 

13 - Rosa Klebb - She learns the hard way to never let an attractive woman try to kill Bond, so she has to do it herself with her poison tipped shoes. She is the inspiration for Frau Farbissina in the Austin Powers series, and the perfect Russian woman.

 

12 - Zao - Zao is one of the most memorable villains for his appearance alone, which included diamonds imbedded in his skin. He gives Bond a run for his money in a cool car sequence in Die Another Day, and ended with a diamond chandelier squashing him.

 

11 - Renard and Elektra - Both villains were in The World is Not Enough, and both gave Bond a helluva time in different ways. Just when we thought Elektra was just another sexual conquest, she owns Bond pretty good. Of course, he escapes and kills them both.

 

10 - Dr. No - One of 2 Bond villains with a whole movie named after him starts off the top ten for being the original Bond villain who also had metal hands. Despite this, he was overshadowed by the Ursula Andress bikini scene.

 

9 - Goldfinger - Goldfinger is the second of villains with an entire movie named after him, and is best known for putting Bond in quite possibly the most precarious of all situations - a laser cutting him in half, starting with his wee wee.

 

8 - Le Chiffre - I thought Le Chiffre was a grand villain because I actually hated this guy. He also had that cool gimmick of bleeding out of his eye. It also helps that he was in my favorite of Bond movies and nearly destroyed Bond's wee wee.

 

7 - Xenia Onatopp - I don't know about you, but everyone in my generation who saw Goldeneye had a sexual fascination with this woman and her rough bedroom style in which she crushed men with her legs. The big question was, "Would you do her even if you got crushed to death?"

 

6 - Max Zorin - Christopher Walken's villanous role in A View to a Kill was almost taken by David Bowie. He showed flashes of his eventual academy award winning brilliance, and his plot to cause a massive earthquake to flood SIlicon Valley is foiled, partially because of Grace Jones.

 

5 - Oddjob - This villain and henchmen of Goldfinger possesses supernatural strength, eats cats, and kills people with his sharp hat. That's exactly like a real life friend of mine whom we simply dub as "Nasty."

 

4 - Alec Trevelyan - Before Boromir succumbed to the temptation of the ring, he was 006, and Bond's match in combat. In fact he was almost the new Bond over Pierce Brosnan. But like the movie, Pierce won out.

 

3 - Jaws - This classic villain has been parodied many times, and appeared in two movies. He is an invincible killing machine who can bite through metal. Bond defeats him time and time again, but can't kill him. Eventually Jaws falls in love and floats out into space with his diminutive love interest.

 

2 - Scaramanga- When it comes to villainy, Christopher Lee is the master. His deformity was a third nipple, and his skill was being the best assassin in the world. His main goal was to kill Bond with his golden gun. But Bond proved to be no dummy (lol).

 

1 - Blofeld - This villain appeared in 6 movies and was played by many different actors. This is the ultimate Bond villain and the inspiration for Dr. Evil in the Austin Powers series. He is the mastermind with a cat, and after a long absence, he's dropped into a chimney in the opening sequence of For Your Eyes Only.

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