Top 10 Evil Alien Races

published July 14, 2009

After seeing the intriguing trailer for the movie "District 9," it made me think if we would get along with an alien species if they were to visit. Unfortunately, the aliens are often evil and beyond negotiation. Whether they want our planet's resources, or just to eliminate mankind, their intentions are often malevolent. I've compiled a list of my 10 favorite evil alien races.

Missed the list: Natasha Henstridge in "Species" (If you can't bleed them out, breed them out), the Godzilla monsters (we're looking for races not single monsters - that goes for "Cloverfield" as well), Decepticons in "Transformers" (Autobots balance them out as they are technically the same 'race'), Psychlos from "Battlefiend Earth" (worst movie of all time)

Would you risk death by tongue through brain and human extinction to do Natasha Henstridge in Species? You bet!

#10 - Aliens in "Signs" - Let's get one thing straight, I hated this movie. I love how an extremely advanced alien species can fly millions of light years, and get trapped in the kitchen and have fingers cut off. And who was in charge of scouting? If water is their weakness, why go to a planet that is 70% water and where rain is commonplace and water vapor is in the air you breathe? I also love how the elusive aliens that jump over garages and disappear into cornfields are suddenly tall and clumsy and beaten with a baseball bat. Ranting aside, their intentions are pure - kill all the humans and take the planet as their own.

I'm so hot you could boil an egg on my shoulder.

 

#9 - Mangalores in "The 5th Element" - These were an evil, if not slightly likeable race that do anything for money. This includes being part of a scheme to eliminate all life in the universe, which certainly includes themselves. The Mangalores are also incredibly dimwitted. I would not feel safe going anywhere in the entire galaxy with these space pirates running rampant. They would kill their mothers if the price was right, and the price is not that high.

I can has pwom date?

 

#8 - Vogons in "The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy" - This race takes bureaucracy to such an extreme that I consider them evil. Although the film says they are technically not evil, destroying Earth because it was 'in the way' is quite evil. They also smash crabs for no reasons, and apparently have the 'third worst poetry' in the universe. Poetry so bad they use it as torture.

I'll take waterboarding over poetry.

 

#7 - Borgs from "Star Trek" - In the Star Trek universe, I could only find the Borg as a truly evil race. Their mission is to "add the biological and technological distinctiveness of other species to their own." In doing so they 'assimilate' with humanoids and turn them into thes half man/half machine hybrids with a collective hive mentality. They cannot be negotiated or bargained with. Their response is "resistance is futile."

Cerebro will help me locate any mutant in the world.

 

#6 - Martians from "Mars Attacks" - The Martians are a fantastic evil race that use the human's want of peace and negotiation against them - twice! They conduct all sorts of intriguing experiments that seemingly have no reason other than personal enjoyment. These martians exposed our defenses, and if it weren't for Slim Whitman's song, "Indian Love Call", (a horrific song that blew their heads up), they would've easily had their way with us.

Dap dap DAP, dap dap DAP. DAP! DAP dap dap DAP!

 

#5 - Aliens in "War of the Worlds" - Watching our beautiful planet with envy from millions of light years away, they decide to strike the Earth. This was no ordinary strike, this one was planned for a long time, and was done with perfect precision. They had awesome tripods that turned us into dust and herded humans, seemingly to create vegetation made out of our blood. They overlooked one minor detail - bacteria. Yes humans have had thousands of years to get our immune systems in tip-top condition - something these evil aliens did not think of!

I'd like some water, preferably with no streptococci or E Coli.

 

#4 - Aliens from "Independence Day" - These evil jerks came in an enormous spaceship and placed them over the largest cities of the world, and systematically destroyed them. When asked what they wanted us to do, the reponse was "Die!" President Bill Pullman then summed it up best - "They're like locusts. They're moving from planet to planet... their whole civilization. After they've consumed every natural resource they move on... and we're next."

Peace.... no peace...

 

#3 - Bugs from "Starship Troopers" - Upon first glance, they're just bugs, how can they be evil? Then it turned out that they had a brain bug. They purposely shoot asteroids at our planet and destroy cities. This was a particularly awesome race of alien, because there were a huge variety of them. There were the soldier bugs, the flying bugs, the brain bug, the enormous bugs, the space laser bugs, and the little slave bugs that carried the brain bug. Their goal during the movie was to suck brains out of humans to understand how we think. That's pretty badass and pretty evil.

 

#2 - Xenomorphs from the "Alien" series - Like the bugs from Starship Troopers, these aliens had a huge variety of different alien types. There is just way to much to this race to fill a blurb. Simply put, they lay eggs in us so aliens can burst out of our chests, they have acidic blood, and are extremely hostile and aggressive. The really have no weakness either, except that they're kind of dumb. Even that isn't a weakness because they have advanced learning and can use machinery at a basic level.

"Rectum, it nearly killed em!"

 

#1 - Predator from the "Predator" series - If you take a collection of 7 of the most badass humans, give them the awesome guns and put them against one predator, they would get their ass kicked. Only a lucky trap got Arnold past the Predator. The Predators are so badass they hunt for sport. They even hunt the aforementioned Xenomorphs for sport. They also sport an awesome assortment of weapons, from a retractable spear, to sharp frisbee, a net that cuts people up, light bending camoflauge, a laser guided energy bolt, and if worse comes to worst - a nuclear self destruct mechanism. It is a crying shame that the Predators and Aliens have not had better movies made out of them since the originals.

BONUS: The Predator Alpha Male Totem Pole!

 

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