The 10 Worst Music Genres

published July 20, 2009

First off, before we get into the meat and potatoes of the horrible genres, just know that these are opinions that you may disagree with. That said, you probably shouldn't disagree and you probably also shouldn't listen to any of these genres of music if they induce half the pain that they induce for me. This list is compiled through a scientific study of me listening to music and thinking it sucks and blaming the whole genre for the suckitude.

These jerks fit into 2 maybe 3 of the below crappy genres of music. Yeah 38 year olds wearing makeup!

 

10 - New Age - This is the type of music that people that believe in horoscopes and palm reading and pet psychics listen to. It's horrific and sleep inducing. The only practical purpose it serves is to relax you while getting a professional massage. Isn't it strange that people that listen to New Age are of old age?

Your palm reading.

 

9 - Gospel - Music that makes you close your eyes and lift your arms while God jacks you off is no music that I can appreciate. The black version of gospel is way more exciting and uplifting than the white person variety, which is why Gospel is only #9.

After this photo, the three men promptly triple teamed and bukkaked the hell out of the woman.

 

8 - Indie Rock - Here is the Indie Paradox. That vast majority of Indie Rock is crap. Once it becomes good, people listen to it, they get signed to a bigger label, and they are no longer Indie rock. There is a good reason no one has heard of your music, it's because it sucks, not because you're such a music snob.

If you look like this guy, you like crappy "Indie Music."

 

7 - Pop Punk - Both genres are decent on their own, but they just don't mix. You get fast paced preteen rock songs by guys in a really high voice. They have a hard time with any type of chord progression that isn't For some reason, despite being in their late 30's and 40's, the musicians insist on dying their hair and wearing retarded amounts of eye-liner.

Johnny Depp should be the only dude in the world who is allowed to wear eyeliner on a regular basis.

 

6 - Country - This is a difficult one to put on the list as Johnny Cash almost single handedly takes it out of the list. But beyond him and Hank Williams, it's a bunch of complete crap. It probably has something to do with it's Southern racist roots and taking excessive pride in something they should be ashamed of (being a redneck).

So here's to all my sisters out there keeping it country  Let me get a big "Hell Yea" from the redneck girls like me  Hell Yeah  (Hell yeah)

 

5 - Disco - This is the reason I started the list, as last week, 25 years ago was declared the day that "Disco Died" in Chicago. Much like Hitler, it needs to stay dead. I am ashamed to admit that I enjoyed and even sought after some disco as a kid. While maybe disco doesn't deserve as much hate as it gets, the fact that it gets so much hate is enough to put it at #5.

VH1's target demographic.

 

4 - Acid Jazz - While Jazz itself just missed the list (I am not 'sophisticated' enough to appreciate it), Acid Jazz is a horrific electronification of Jazz. All the songs I've heard have a chord progression that does not sound good and has singing with no tune to it. It's supposed to be relaxing, but it's just unpolished junk. There's a good reason this genre has not gone mainstream (hint: it's because it sucks).

Woah acid bro.

 

3 - Reggaeton - How can you base a whole genre of music on a simple and annoying drum beat? Reggaeton does this and usually has horrific Spanish rapping over it that is rage inducing. The one good thing it has going for it is the sexy Mexican babes that dance to this music like clockwork.

Horrible music AND a Yankees hat? And check out the spelling, does it look like Daddy Nankee?

 

2 - Emo/ Straight Edge - One can argue whether Emo or Indie Rock is responsible for the horrific Adam Lambert style hair. I blame Emo. Straight Edge are those hard core rockers that are vegan, and don't drink and smoke (aka smoke and drank in middle school so much that they found an excuse to not do it in high school). Out of the dozens I've known, I don't think a single god damn one of them stayed "sXe For Life" like they proclaimed.

 

1 - Show Tunes - It is quite reasonable to like this genre of music, especially if you are a woman or a gay man. I unfortunately am neither, and the oversinging in show tunes sends me vomiting quicker than a bulimic after eating a full plate of egg salad. The vast majority of their singing voices are horrific and they over compensate with way too much vibrato. The only good show tune I can think of is from the Southpark guys in their movies (Orgazmo, Team America World Police). Most wouldn't even consider these songs as show tunes.

Travolta as a woman doing a show tune, basically the most possible hatred you can possibly produce out of me.

 

Well there you have it. The 10 worst genres of music. Can you think of any genres that belong in the top 10? Rap is close but there's way too many dope songs to make the list. Ska potentially could be #12 or #13. Reggae gets old and boring faster than any genre, so it could be there. Christian rock too maybe?

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