Pray for Omarion

originally published June, 2005

 

"Ungh, yeah girl" *licks lips* "I want yo' body."

 

I hope everyone joins me in a solemn prayer to Omarion, who barely escaped the horrible bombing in London with his extremely important life. After the tragic bombings in London, Omarion asked that his fans to "pray that he had a safe trip and a safe return home," and that he "appreciated your support ."Well Omarion, my thoughts and prayers are with you.

OMARION FACTS:

-He's about 5'3, a diminutive drow elf of a man.

-He was once part of B2K, a black R&B 'boy group' with one hit known as "Bump Bump Bump."

-He is now 20 years old.

-His solo debut album is entitled "O". Get it? O is the first letter of Omarion, and O is also the first letter of the word "Orgasm."

-He is far more rich than a man of his 'stature' and talent deserves to be.

-He also asked for fans' prayers before when he had a throat surgery. "If his throat bleeds, he might not be able to sing again." That would be pure shame, now wouldn't it.

-He was in the movie "You Got Served."

"I'm Free!"

Everyone who has seen the movie "You Got Served," knows that's it's just another cheap remake done of an old white man's sitcom. The british comedy "Are you Being Served?," seemed to have much more subtle humor. Omarion's portrayel of the british comedy's equivalent and ambiguously gay "Mr. Humphries," was almost likeable!

Other similar 'white to black' remakes include "The Honeymooners," starring Cedric "The Unentertaining," "Catwoman," starring Halle 'overrated' Barry, and "Guess Who" starring Ashton "MILF hunter" Kutcher and Bernie Mac (I actually kinda like Bernie Mac).

Where were we? Oh yes, Omarion. We'll make sure all of our prayers are headed your direction, after all, why pray for people already dead right? Pray for the living, especially the ones that make such a huge impact like Omarion has. Anyway, if you didn't get the sarcasm in the rest of the article, the moral of the story is "Screw Omarion and his tiny little body."