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Review of "Minesweeper"
originally published June, 2005

There is a new game that is quote-unquote "sweeping" the nation. This game is Minesweeper. Get it? "Sweeping" the nation. Heh heh. Anyways, minesweeper, what an awesome game!

To prove my expertise in this game I have posted my high scores. Beat that biatches!

You use inductive, or is it deductive logic, to flag all the mines and and win! But it's harder than you think. These mines can be anywhere! This game is the perfect training game for our U.S. army. If they ever come upon a field that they know to be infested with mines, they can refer to their minesweeper knowledge to flag all the mines and thus making the minefield safe for the rest of the army to cross. How appropriate for this war on "Terror".

Almost everyone has played this game, but guess what, I got mine for free! That's right, it came with my brand new computer. I wonder how much other suckers must've paid for this game. Probably a lot.

Now my deductive thinking skills are so good, I can pass the expert level in 85 seconds, intermediate in 32 seconds, and beginner in 5 seconds, although beginner is a fluke (I've probably done it in 4 seconds out of a total fluke). If you can't beat beginner, then you might as well shoot yourself.

Minesweeper require precision logic, and a good start, much like affirmative action kids. Pictured below is a start you wanna get, on expert mode that is. If you're still on beginner or intermediate, then you should drop a grade, or a least go back to school if you are not so already.

With a start like this, even G-Dubya could break the century mark!

GRADE: B+

 

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