Review of Gwen Stafani's "Holla Back Girl"
originally published July, 2005
12-16 year olds girls rejoice! Gwen Stafani has done it again! Her new hit "Holla Back Girl" is poisoning the airwaves with it's catchy hard hittin bass beat and cheerleader-esque cheering. But wait... what is a "Holla Back Girl?" For those of us that ain't down with the lingo (or older than say, 22) I have been kind enough to post a definition.
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Young girls all around the nation are learning to put their foot down when on the receiving end of a "Booty Call." |
According to the "Urban Dictionary" a holla back girl is "A girl that is willing to be treated like a doormat or booty call." She is a girl that will allow guys to do whatever they want with her and will just wait for them to 'holla back' at them.
When put up to the prospect of being treated like a doormat, a whole generation of young girls say "Nuh Uh!!" with a hand flaunting across their body in a way only a sassy black woman or a flamboyant gay man can emulate. This is all in part due to the success of Gwen Stefani's "Holla Back Girl."
One thing of particular note, is that Gwen says she's "been around that track" a "few times." Which means she indeed was once a "Holla Back Girl." What nerve does this gent have to treat Gwen like some piece of meat; to walk all over her like a doormat and have the audacity to give her a "Booty Call." I'd like to see this certain gent try now! Oh man is he in for a shock when she verbally slaps him with a resounding, "No way boy, this my shit! This MY shit!"
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Gwen Stefani's "shit" resembles one of these bananas, most likely the one on the right. |
Speaking of which, the most inspirational lyric is when she says "Ooh, This my Shit, this my shit." So much does she want to get her point across, she says "This my shit" 17 times. Ain't no one else's shit! It's Gwen Stefani's shit! Then she proceeds to says, "This shit is bananas," and then is kind enough to spell it out (I'm not sure if 12-16 year old girls can spell a word of such difficulty yet). So we've concluded that Gwen Stefani's poop is banana shaped.
So what can the fellas learn from this song? Well fellas, never ever say "Holla back" to a girl... ever. Also, never ever do what you want to do with them. Let them do what they want to do, to you. Make sense? We also know that Gwen Stefani's poop smells like fruit, as probably do most gals'.
GRADE: F-